My Take On Adoption
My Take On Adoption
October 20, 2013
What I am about to share with you has nothing to do with politics. It is simply my experience. In light of the story about Auburn University’s 2013 Homecoming Queen, Molly Anne Dutton, it has me reflecting on my own life.
No, I haven’t experienced abortion or adoption directly. What I mean is that I have not been put in that position to make a decision for either one. Thankfully. But I do know people who have had to make that decision.
I’ve asked permission to blog about this because it is a story about my husband, The Gent. There really isn’t much to tell, not really. The story is simple. He was given up for adoption. In fact, he was handed over to Catholic Charities, as a newborn.
This is the story he was told: His biological mother was a teenager and she knew there was no way she could take care of a child – either because of being so young herself or financial reasons or whatever. Basically, she was a teenager and could not raise a child. His biological father had pretty much the same story. The two teenagers were not married. It was “one of those things” I reckon.
A young couple made a decision to adopt and they chose The Gent. He was their second baby they adopted. The Gent has an older brother, adopted from a different scenario.
Fast forward 50-some odd years. I am married to The Gent. I often wonder what my life would be like without him. All of the scenarios I come up with are not good. The Gent has been so good for all of us; me, The Girl, and The Manchild. He has provided us a regular and normal steady life and I am forever grateful. I am grateful to and for him. I am grateful that young pregnant teenager opted for adoption rather than abortion.
The decisions we make, we never know how they will affect others. We don’t now how far reaching they can be. I sometimes wish I could look up The Gent’s biological mother to thank her for NOT aborting her baby.
Of course, I am also grateful to The Gent’s parents for deciding to adopt. Both The Gent and his brother are upstanding, honest, hard-working men with good morals and values.
Again, I often think about how my life would be right now, and the lives of my children, if it were not for The Gent. I am not saying a single mother can’t raise a good family. Of course they can. It happens all the time. But I imagine it is hard work, a lot of self sacrificing, patience, praying, and a whole lot of discipline. Characteristics I was not equipped with at the time when my children were very young and shortly after their father died in 2005.
The Gent makes me want to be a better person, a better mother, a better friend. Being around him has opened my heart to life. Watching and observing The Gent, working with him on being parents, makes me do things I don’t want to do. It is hard work and The Gent helps me be that better person by making grown up decisions that affect our children, together. Good decisions are not always the easy decisions. But with him, I know we can do it and it will be okay. If I were on my own, it would be chaotic and not good. I was not strong on my own.
It is amazing how well we get along too. He has a sense of humor that just cracks me up on a daily basis. His ability to remain calm, patient, and steady just blows me away. I don’t understand it. His heart is so huge and so generous too. I could count one hand the people I know who are truly selfless and he is one of them. He constantly thinks of others, us, the kids before his own needs, wants, and desires. So for all of this, I am also grateful to his adoptive parents. They sure raised good men.
There is so much more I could say and write about this topic but I’ll stop here. Basically, I wanted to share with you about the decisions we make and how far reaching they can be. I know we cannot predict the future about our decisions. I’ll just have to keep thanking God for His hand in it all.