The Erma Bombeck Writing Conference

The Erma Bombeck Writing Conference

This just scrolled through my Twitter feed….


NO!!! Save a poor girl a spot, would ya?

The Erma Bombeck Writing Conference – This is a writing conference I have coveted on attending for a few years now. The registration for it just opened up this morning.

I want to go!

However, it isn’t the right time for me. And that’s okay. We have one child in college and one about to be in college, Christmas is coming up, home repairs that are much needed but we’ve been waiting to get them done, and who knows what will happen with health care for us. I would feel really stupid-guilty for spending any money on myself and attending the Erma Bombeck Writing Conference. I’ve been selfish for too many years already. I know there will be future years to attend. I’m good with that, really I am; anything you hear coming from me from here on out in regards to the conference is all for humor purposes. [Image Source]

But let’s just say I started blegging (blogging and begging) for a sponsor to come along and help me out. What would that look like? Or, not even a sponsor, let’s say that I try to earn my way in good deeds. I’ve asked myself this question, “Carol, what would you do (or give up) in order to attend the Erma Bombeck Writing Conference?

Here is a list of things I’d do, or give up, if given the chance to attend my dream conference:

  • Quit smoking, for real this time.
  • I would genuinely and affectionately start hugging people, with purpose and meaning. People who know me, know that I am not a hugger but I am totally willing to change this for a chance to attend the conference.
  • From here on out, I promise to only say nice and cheery things about people, places, events, and things.
  • I promise to smile more – a blog post is forthcoming on this topic.
  • No more selfies! Well, not as many and I promise to use only one camera app and filter.
  • I promise not to check Facebook while I am in the bathroom. In fact, I won’t take my phone into the bathroom anymore.
  • I’ll give twerking a shot. And how about this, if by some miraculous reason I get to go to the conference, I promise to try my very best to capture a video of me twerking with Phil Donahue. He is a keynote and will do the opening ceremonial speech.

Twerking is the latest dance craze, right? On second thought, no one wants to see me twerking. Trust me.

That is all I can come up with for now, if I think of more I’ll pop in to add them to the list.

Or, if you have any ideas of your own, leave them in the comment section.

My grandmother introduced me to Erma Bombeck when I was in high school. Not in real life, but her columns and television segments on Good Morning America. At the time, I remember thinking, “This woman is ahead of her time.” And she was.

Thanks for reading,

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A middle-aged, petite, CrossFit athlete. #MoxieFit50


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